So, how do I feel?

My journey has almost come to an end. I am packing my bags and getting ready to leave. So how do I feel after these two months? Well, terribly mixed.

I marvel at what the State of Israel has created in just 60 years. From science and technology, to research and development, to literature and the arts, to innovation in water conservation, agriculture and forestry. The greening of the desert. The high-tech industry. It is mind-blowing.

I also love the fact that Israel has created a space to express Jewish identity beyond religion, through a common language, land and culture. And I am in awe of Israel's numerous operations to save Jewish communities in distress from all over the world.

But I do not think this project will last unless Israel makes peace with its neighbours, especially the Palestinians. And when I look at what Israel is doing in that respect, I am deeply concerned. I cannot believe that the situation has been allowed to deteriorate so badly, and I cannot understand why most Jews in Israel and the diaspora are okay with what is happening.

I am shocked that Israel has allowed the settler population to quadruple in the last twenty years. As you drive through the West Bank, the landscape is dotted with prosperous Israeli settlements connected with sophisticated highways, electricity and running water, amidst a sea of poorer Palestinian villages, with badly maintained roads and services. If a Palestinian road runs too close to a settlement it is closed off. If an Israeli road crosses through a Palestinian village, there are army checkpoints to control Palestinian movement, or the land is simply confiscated. Is this how we show support for the creation of an independent Palestinian state? Is this our idea of peace?

I am disturbed by Israel's policy of separation. Separate roads and laws for Israelis and Palestinians living in the West Bank. A Separation Barrier between Israel and the West Bank. A prohibition on entry into Israel for Palestinians and vice versa. And restricting movement of Palestinians between the West Bank and Gaza.

It distresses me that we find it acceptable to put 1.5 million Gazans into a prison because they are controlled by an extremist militant group. That when we think of Gaza we only think of terrorists and forget that the vast majority are civilians who crave a normal life.

Of course, I am also angry that the Palestinians have not been able to get their act together. That they have not figured out that violence against Israel simply makes their situation worse, and that non-violent resistance might be a more effective approach. And I am angry that after 60 years, the Arab world has not faced reality: that Israel is not going anywhere, whether they accept its right to exist or not.

I believe that Israel needs military strength to defend itself. But I worry that today we are more proud of Israel's military might, than of our contribution to humanity. I feel sad that the iron fist is our claim to fame and not our compassion for human life.

But I have not given up hope. This is the Middle East. And the situation can change at the most unexpected moment.

1 day to go...