What have I learnt?

Believe it or not, I was scared to embark on this journey. I do not thrive on seeing conflict, injustice and suffering. I was scared to have my world turned upside down. I was scared about feeling hopeless, despair and full of hatred. I did not think I was ready to face the situation. I did not want to turn against my people and I did not want to blame the Palestinians for everything either.

I spent so many years avoiding the question of Israel and the Palestinians. The issue was so divisive with my family and my community, it always felt easier to talk about something else and to focus on other people's issues. I was unsure how my journey would be perceived. But this part has been easy. People have been open, engaged and interested. It has enabled me to be more open in return, and given me a greater ability for understanding.

I learnt a lot about the conflict, from the eyes of Israelis and Palestinians and through my own eyes. I have a better grasp of the issues, the different perceptions and perspectives. Everyone I met, Israeli or Palestinian, has an answer for everything, so it can be difficult to judge whether certain policies and acts are justified or not. I realised that the truth probably lies somewhere in the middle.

One thing is clear though, very few people think about the future, or have a plan for the future. Fewer and fewer people believe the two-state solution is possible, and almost no-one wants to live in a binational state (one state for two peoples). So what will it be? Eternal conflict? Never-ending occupation?

I lost some of my innocence about the ideal that Israel and the Jewish people always try to do the right thing with the highest moral ethic. I think this cannot be assumed, it must be proven. No people is naturally good or bad. Every nation has the ability to commit atrocities, albeit to varying degrees and at different moments in history. Which is why this journey has strengthened my belief in the rule of law. No-one should be above the law, and a person is never the best judge of their own acts.

It troubles me to see cases where Israelis are put above the law, especially when it comes to alleged wrongdoings against Palestinians. I heard and saw a number of cases where the army sat by and watched as settlers threatened and threw stones at Palestinian children on their way to school. After the war in Gaza, there were serious allegations of violations of the laws of war by both sides. I had no expectations that Hamas would carry out an independent investigation, but I was shocked that up to now, Israel has not launched an independent investigation. Instead Israel preferred to allow the military to investigate its own conduct. These are not good examples of upholding the rule of law.

But I also feel immense pride and hope, seeing how many Israelis care about what is going on and do something about it. I was thrilled to see how many Palestinians were active in peace initiatives, especially when it came to non-violent resistance. I really do believe that if the voices of these Israelis and Palestinians grow louder, that it will create an impetus for change.

Personally, I feel closer to my own identity, to my own people, than ever before. Whilst I was exploring a conflict between two peoples, I come from one of those peoples, and my journey was very much rooted in that identity.

Most importantly, I feel humbled by the experience. I do not have any big ideas to bring to the people in this region. I think they are trying everything they can, with enormous obstacles. I respect people's efforts and believe that our job, as people from the outside, is to support those efforts.

2 days to go...