Can we be friends?

Before this year, I had never met a Palestinian. To be honest, I was scared of them. The first Palestinian I met was in Geneva in March 2009 (neutral territory). I did not dare tell him that I was Jewish. I was careful about every word I said. Then I came to the region, made contact with Palestinians, and decided it was time for me to visit them, to learn more about their story.

My first visit was to the southern Hebron hills in the West Bank. The night before my trip I hardly slept. I kept having dreams that I was taken hostage, tortured and killed. I kept checking and double checking with my hosts whether it was safe for me to come.

When I finally started meeting people and making friends, my walls started to come down. My fear started to melt away. My prejudice started to fade. I felt more comfortable to be myself. I stopped hiding who I am.

There is one Palestinian woman in particular who has become a good friend of mine. We both turned to each other during a time of need, totally unrelated to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. She wanted advice on how to deal with a relationship with a man who has children from a previous marriage, and I needed help on dealing with a personal crisis about what to do with my job future. Typical women's stuff, no?

Our friendship is not all rosy. We still have work to do to build trust. We both have our own misconceptions about the other, our own biases and prejudices to work on. But, we like each other as people, and we are determined not to let our hatred win over our hearts.

I love this process. It is incredibly spiritual. It is about getting to know the other, realising that they are the same as you, even though they look different. This woman symbolises the enemy of my people, and I, the enemy of her people. And yet, we both refuse to let that reality prevent us from breaking down the wall.

I am fully aware that just because I can make friends with a Palestinian or two, does not mean that the problems disappear, or even that we can solve them. It also does not mean that we can all hold hands and be friends. But, if there is a solution to be found, can we really find it without trying to understand the other?

49 days to go...